(((((((((((((((((Natalie))))))))))) It's such a Blessing to see an entry from you!

   YAY for being so very close with Jazz!    YAY for going back to school!   Yay for being Grateful!

     Have a Blessed weekend!

     Love you and miss you!,

              Jewel

llol i hate ppl like that, you help and help them and they still act like that? its crazy and i'm happy you told her something becaues she needed someone to, ill tell ya.

fly hugs

awww sounds like you guys had a very. very nice time you bad girl you.... i love taking arianna to the moives to but sometimes she like to talk lol, cant go wrong with some good food on the grill yum, yum should of faxed me some lol, i like staying in bed all day sometimes to isnt it great hehe.

fly

i feel ya...the man is like the king of rap dead or alive and thats that!

[2sexE4u]

((((((((((((((Natalie))))))))))))) Sorry that your not getting more help at home!

  Glad that you and Q are growing and learning together..You are right- all relationships have their tiffs!

   Love you tons and pray that your weekend is FILLED with Love and Blessings!,

               Jewel

(((((((((((((((Natalie)))))))))))) Soooooo happy that you and Q had a good weekend! Praises be to God!

     Praying that your week is FILLED with BLESSINGS!

   I love you tons!,

         Jewel

lol dont you love when they play so much they knock out at the end of the day without a word, i'm glad you had fun .

fly

i'm happy some men are actting right lol, a family day out is always really fun like with us its to much fun i think becaues after we all go home and take nap which nap arent things my kids do lol. marriage is crazy and alot of hard work and i'm happy that you guys are still putting in your hours and loveing eachother becaues no body is gonna work for free unless they love it lmao.

fly hugs

  I'm soooooooo proud of you and Q- It is an answer to my prayers! Wish I had more time...I am better at letters..would you be interested?
    Love you tons and am still praying over your marriage!,

                     Jewel

a lesson i have not learned yet but will master in time lol.

fly

Hey Girl,

I guess you do know what i mean.  I just read your entry.  Other than that, i am glad that things are going great for you, Jazz and Q.  Family is important and i am glad that you are having a great time enjoying yours.   Pictures of Mya are in the entry before the one you read.  We had some professional ones done on MOther's day weekend. 

  (((((((((((((((9Natalie))))))))))))) Heart Hugs! Sorry to read about your family members..They've put you in a bad position.

   It's great to read about your good family times! YAY to the Heavens!

    Much Love always,

      Jewel

all man i'm so not rdy for my kids to go to school its gonna be crazy and ALOT of work, i was rdy for anything with i had them but not school, i would keep them home with me forever if i could lol.

fly

Hey Girl,

Wow, another baby. I sometimes think about having another baby whenever we can too but i feel sad when i think about sharing my affections with another child.  Mya and i have been through so much together and i kind of want to have another but i kid of feel bad for her because she has always had Mommy to herself.  I don't know how well she will handle it.  Okay and maybe i have my own selfish reasons too.  .  Glad that you are doing okay.  I am proud of you for handling your business.  Good luck to you.  keep strong. I am wishing you many, many years of wedded bliss.

((((((((((((((((9Natalie)))))))))) YAY for all that you are learning and applying!  Go YOU! My prayers are still with you and Q!

   I love you!,

      Jewel

(((((((((((((((((((((Natalie))))))))))))) Heart Hugs! It's such a Blessing to see an entry from you! Sooooooo happy that things are better with you and Q! Our prayers have been answered!  Glad that you had a good mother's day!'

   I love you tons,

      Jewel

lmao i know all the freaks come out at nite hehe, your getting the baby bug now yikes, i had it bad but i know luis loved it becaues he had fun making the bug go away and giving me my son lol, i was a size 5 befor arianna after having i went to a size like 18 or something, i got really big to the point where everyone asked me if i was having twins or more, having andrew was nonthing and went by really fast.

 i'm starting to belive that having a second child is really e,z than the first, i already had the tummy so it got big to the point where he can fix but i really didnt gain alot of weight from him and he wasnt even as close to the weight arianna was when she was born.

fly

((((((((((((Natalie)))))))))))))) It's sooooooo very good to hear from you! I truly miss you when you're away.

   I'm so proud of you for seeking help for your marriage and not giving up! Go YOU! Go Q!  I'm proud of Q too- for going and making the effort! All of this is GREAT Progress!

  I'm so glad the second therapist was more helpful.

   Supporting you in ALL of your Efforts and Growth!

    I didn't know that you had a problem with substances....Wishing you the very best in that.

    Sending Much Love and Gratitude,

              Jewel

Oh no.  you just spoke the truth.  That's all.  Sometimes tough love is the best way.  Thank you for being honest.

It's wonderful that you are making things work with Q.  It's great to see that you are actually making the effort to work things out.  Yep, they do grow up fast.  Mya is doing the same thing.  She is a little chatterbox. 

happy late b-day from me hehe, i have no internet at home untill tommrow i moved toa new place to when i do ill talk to ya soon, lov ya.

fly

(((((((((((((((Natalie))))))))) I was thinking of you this morning..wondering where you were and how you were...send up a little prayer and here you are!

 It's so good to see an update from you!

  Congrats on the major weight loss!

   Glad that all is well with Jazz!

   Sorry that you feel that your heart has been broken.

 Know that I love you!,

         Jewel

Hola Chica,

Welcome back.  Missed you.  Do what's best for you, that's what counts.  Whatever happens i know things will work out fine.  Counting to 20, wow, they do grow up fast. 

mines on the 18th hehe.

fly

hey where you ben, you bettter get yo butt and update soon i miss ya lol.

hugs fly

Hey you.  This is a change.  Wow, it's shocking.  I am absolutely in agreement that what he did was wrong and in front of Jazz.  I will pray for you all.  Just keep praying and believing and everything will be fine. 

Hugs   Althea

(((((((((((((((((Natalie))))))))))) I only have a minute but wanted to stop by and check on you..to tell you that I miss you and I love you!!

  I'm so happy to read that Q went to church with you! What a Blessing and Miracle !

  I'm so happy to read that he has been loving, humble and respectful! YAY to the Heavens.

    I'm so glad that you enjoyed church. YAY !

   Have a Blessed Night!

   Love you!,

      Jewel

i tell myself that all the time and i tell luis that ouur son isnt gonna grow up actting a fool like luis does sometimes, sometimes i dont know whats gonna happen in the years to come but then again i do i know how i want to care for my kids and i know how i want them to grow up, idk about all men but luis does that alot also, we talk and talk and the next time its like nothing, like he forgot what we talked about and he does the samethings, your right tho you shouldnt have to tell him and show him how to be a man, you dont have a son and shouldnt have to deal with that.

fly

Always be positive and forget a guy like him. I had a friend once - married for eight years to a Devil. He promised her to be good, but it was never good. He has never get controlled of his emotion and always becoming violent towards her despite that the two of them have 2 sons. The kids watched how their father hurt their mother and one day the older son came and knock his father with a baseball bat behind his back because he slapped his mother. How terrified the kid was but he kept on hitting his father even after the parents trying to stop him. He was so scared for his mother that he wanted it so much to hurt his father back. The good thing is that the father has never laid hand on his kids - only the mother. But violence in the family is never good and the kids has always been the victim in the middle. They don't understand things, you see and they thought by hurting their father would save their mother ... but will stay forever nightmares for them ... Don't let the kids be the victim.

Give children a secure home and enough love ...

ah alot of b-day comeing up but i can say hahaha my b-day is befor your hehe but your still older then me dang, so your goin tea crazy huh, its crazy when you can get stuck on one thing like that lol like i've ben stuck on ice cream for some reason, ben eatting it like crazy but then again iam crazy.

fly hugs

((((((((((((((Natalie)))))))))))))) It blessed me to read that you and Q had fun! YAY to the Heavens!

  Love, Hugs and Prayers,

         Jewel

man can i come with you, i never have anything to do lol i wanna party!!!!

fly

Dear Sister Natalie,

   The picture made me smile sooooooo big!  Seeing you and your beautiful daughter just makes my heart smile!

    I'm proud of you for seeking counciling!  Please keep me posted on that!

  I'm proud of  you for all of the positive changes that you  have made in your life...You are a Joy and I love you dearly!

   Have a blessed day!,

         Jewel

ahh yay we get a pic (YAY) jazz is to cute, you guys look so happy, i see you have your game face on and your going after what you need/want, thats a pretty damn good job your doing, being a wife mother and working is a hell of a job and people like us dont quit even when we want to. hugs

fly love yA....

i know,i know my entry was abit much but i couldnt hold it in anyway and at this point of the day luis knows it also, i just talked to him and know i dont take anything you say in the wrong way becaues your the only one helping me telling me how to go about things in the right way and thats more then anyone around here has ben doing, its hard for me to started myself going becaues my mom never let me go anywhere or do aything by myself, i didnt even know how to pay the gas bill untill i got with luis, its alot differnt for me to do things on my own but yours right that shouldnt stop me.

 i've would of ben going to school already but luis  has to go and fix his taxes sheets from the last to years he didnt add me for both of them and the school asked for that and thats the only things holding me back and i will be looking for a job soon.          thank you

        oh and you friend is on something, sound like my cuz the cutes guys arent always the (right) guys.

fly

Dear Sister Natalie,

   YOU, your prayers , your love and your support mean the world to me...What a Gift YOU ARE!

   I'm so very proud of you for not letting things with Q blind you to all of the good that you have in your life and all of the progress that you have made! Go YOU!

   I think sometimes we have to make ourselves focus on what is right in our lives rather than what's wrong!

   We know that we are to thank God in ALL things even our trials!  I see YOU doing that. You are an inspiration to me and I am so very proud of you!

 have a Blessed Week!

  I love you!,

     Jewel

Hey, girl,

I have to say this is the biggest turn around ever but i am proud of you for knowing exactly what you want.  Only you know what is best for you.  I am happy that you and Q are working things out. I have to say that i was one of those that thought he was a realy jerk the way he was behaving but i am glad that the two of you are really working to build a happy family.  You are an inspiration to all of us. You know this  year is our year.  Woohoo.  How is Jazz doing? 

lol i dont have a answer to that question but i know with love anything can happpen, i'm very happy you guys are working it out i was behind you when you wanted to leave and i'm behind you when you wanted to stay but i'm happy that your happy and that Q is being the man you wanted him to be and that the man you know he can be becaues if you didnt think that then he could be on the side on the road by now lol.

hugs love ya

fly

((((((((((((((9Natalie))))))))))))) Thank YOU so much for the note, the love , the support!

   I'm soooo glad that you and Q are working on things! Go YOU! Go God!

   Your get-away sounds so good and romantic! I'm proud of you for making the effort!

   I pray that your week is FILLED with BLESSINGS!

  I love you Sis,

        Jewel

Dear sister Natalie,

  I am feeling very ill today..so I will try to catch up with you as soon as I am feeling better.

   KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU TONS AND AM PRAYING FOR  YOUR MARRIAGE!

   Happy Valentines Day!,

           Jewel

after reading this i had to say WOW, this entry shows great strenght, you've learned alot from the downside of it all and now its comeing so much clear to you, i love it, i love that your looking at things differntly in away thats gonna make you happy, i to love when luis wears his ring also, anytime if you ever saw one of us without it that means we had a really bad fight or something, wearing a ring can be so strong to the point where you can tell what kind of mood your in with your lover. big hugs

fly

so you thinking about giveing it ago again, i dont know if i should say go for it or not becaues i dont wanna be wrong but you never know, how many times have i talked about luis and leaveing but we worked it out and everything is great now, i was wrong then and was about to leave and i would of missed out on the good stuff we have now, then again its differnt for everyone, listen to your heart it can tell you what to do and what you want, it doesnt always come clear but when it does you will have your answer.

hugs fly

YAY YAY YAY It's an answer to my prayers!

   I love you tons,

       Jewel

wow, it's been a long time, but I'm back. I wish things were going better for you.  On one hand, you are trying to better the situation, on the other hand, your marriage is ending.  Been there.  Funny thing is, years later, I still wonder if I shouldn't have stayed longer, tried harder, fought harder to keep it together.  Even though he had an affair, he made an effort to make things right and I couldn't forgive him, but now years later, I think I should have stayed and kept my family together. 

Now that said, funny, a top story today online was about couples fighting about money; very common.  You should read it.  And for the record, I think if you are married, you put your money together and you do things together, you pay bills together, go out together, make financial decisions together.  This yours and mine and you and me thinking isn't a unified "we are in this thing together" approach, so maybe it needs some re-thinking.

*shutting up now and going back to minding my own problems and business, lmao*

2008 is going to be great, get that in your head and don't let go of it.  things are going to get better for all of us.

if he doent want to move out then the only way i see it, would be for you to move, i think some where deep down he doesnt want to leave maybe becaues he doesnt want to be alone idk, maybe he fights with you becaues he dosnt want to come off as weak, he knows if anyone of you leaves its over for good and to answer your first comment, one may put up with so much from another becaues of love but when love is no longer standing in the way its over..........

fly

(((((((((((((((((Natalie))))))))))))) I love you too!  I'm so very sorry dear sister that you are living with this kind of stress. You are RIGHT- You DON'T deserve it. 

   I'll be praying for you!

    I love you tons,

         Jewel

blameing yourself can get you down and make you act differnt other then yourself but doesnt matter what you do, when your together its 50/50 to make 100 and to be happy. it does take time to stop and look at what you want after that go get it.

fly

I wish you lots of luck and courage!!! I am proud of you... you're doing so great!!!

As for saving, try to not buy anything you don't REALLY need. And put aside whatever you think you can (10$, 20$ a week... whatever, it's a start)!

I feel for your friend and her loss. I will say a prayer!

Happy weekend

(((((((((((((((((((Natalie))))))))))) I love you and will be praying for you each morning in my prayer journal...I know that YOU HAVE TO DO THIS FOR YOUR HEALTH AND SANITY!

   Email me if you ever need to talk in private.

   I love you DearOne,

         Jewel

thats good your moveing i hope you get what you are looking for, i love that comment you left me its was so funny lol, i think Q can feel it all coming but he doesnt want to give up.

fly

that sounds like something i should get into, i take lots of pic of my kids and tuff anyway not get good to the point where i could get payed for it lol but idk if thats what i really would want to do even tho i like takeing pics, your right tho as you go on things should fall into place but it takes time some times.

fly

YAY for the classes! Go YOU! It's so wonderful seeing you pursue something that you love!

  I miss you! I love you!,

          Jewel

Hey, Happy New Year.  Photography?  Didn't know you were interested in that.  If you are good, i could have used you at my wedding.  Those sound like good plans.  As long as you are happy, everything else will fall into place.  WIshing you a Happy and Prosperour New Year.!

i love seeing my kids open there gifts lol, you feel so many things at onces even tho arianna thanked santa when i did all the work lol, oh well right as along as christmas can be happy for them me ad santa can get along lol. potty training yikes i have 1 more to go lol but me and luis had a deal i trained arianna and he has andrew so i hope the deal can stay that way even tho i'm  gonna have to help ayway but thats still thats deal hehe, its always funny to make a big deal when they go potty the smile on there face is so cute lol, let me stop look at all this i wrote already hehe.

happy new year

hugs fly

 I'm so very happy to read this entry...And to know that you had such a Joyful time!  That made my heart happy!

    Thank YOU for all the Love, Encouragement, Acceptance and Support that you send my way.

   Wish that I lived closer so that I could come over for a visit!

    I love you too!,

       Jewel

have a MERRY CHRISTMAS you and baby girl, being together is all you need, have fun eat, have fun and eat thats its all about lol, na its so much more but family is number one always, iam so thankful to have a friend like you, i really do, i could even say i look at you as family as a sister becaues i know i can always come to you when i have a question and it doesnt matter to me if you ever have an asnwer or not the point is your there and thats why iam thankful for you.

hug fly

Hey,

I have been checking repeatedly for an update from you.  Glad you are doing okay.  Yep, i know about two year olds and their clutter.  My daughter feels the need to fetch everything of hers from one room to another as she goes along.

Natalie,

Wow.  I have not been keeping up cause it's been crazy but i am shocked to see this  Even though you have been contemplating leaving for so long, i still somehow had hope for you.  I am shocked that he is the one that brought up divorce.  I am so sorry cause i know that even though you wanted it to be over, i know that it still hurts.  You have my number, please feel free to call me at any time.  I am here to listen.  I am a great listener.  Sending you a big hug.  I am shocked and totally disgusted by him saying that he would not be able to help you with Jazz.  She is his responsiblity too.  He cannot just decide that because you and him are not together anymore that he doesn't have to deal with Jazz.  That is just childish and completely irresponsible.  That is very cowardly.  He will get what's coming to him. 

it is hard running after someone and trying to make them love you but thats when you have to get yourself together and walk away, (thats something i have not learned yet) Q needs to stop that becaues as soon you take jazz, hes gonna feel the pain so he shouldnt say he isnt gonna help you with her. you have came along way and you know what you want and thats what i like about you and what i want to learn from you.

i to am affraid of being alone thats why i stay and stay even when the times i dont feel i should be here, i never want to do anything alone nor be alone but if that whats it takes for happeness then i say being alone isnt all that bad if you can be happen at the end right?.

 hugs fly

feel better ma you and baby girl, i cant belive Q still has that number in his phone, ya i know who my first love was but never call or talk to him again becaues theres know point in doing so, Q need to quit already to many games to play at onces. wait untill jazz starts talking even more your not gonna belive the big word shes gonna learn and say, i miss ya so come write and update soon.

huggies fly

Dear Sister Natalie,

   I'm sorry to read that you and Jazmine have been sick! Glad that Jaz is feeling better.

  I'm very disappointed in Q for doing that!   Bringing outside women into a troubled marriage does nothing but add to the trouble!

    I'm glad that he is being a good father.

   KNOW that you are in my heart, my thoughts, my prayers!

   I LOVE YOU TONS,

       Jewel

Dear Sister Natalie,

  Soooooo glad to read that Thanksgiving went so well!  YAY to the Heavens!

 Hope that you enjoyed  your margarittas and tree trimming..wish that I could have been there!

   Update soon...I miss you!

   I love you sweet sister,

          Jewel

wow maybe you can make me some food sometime lol, ya the best alarm clock is always the kids lol, i didnt cook this year but oh well theres always next year right? i cant wait for x-mas i'm trying to get a new cell phone hehe wish me luck. love ya

fly

Hey Girl,

Happy Belated Thanksgiving.  Been a while.  Work, the holidays, being sick.  It's been crazy for me.  Quite the chef ah.  Could have used you at my house on Thanksgiving..  Sounds like you are on a great path.  Hopefully, i will be able to catch up with everyone this week.  I have a lot of catching up to do.  Glad you are doing okay.  I have to go through to say hi to all of my favorites.  I am determined to get back in the swing of things today. 

  Thank YOU for the Blessing of your note and good wishes! Thank YOU for being such a good spiritual sister to me! Thank YOU for being in my life! 

   KNOW that I count YOU amoung my Blessings!

   KNOW that I love you dearly!

   Happy Thanksgiving!,

        Jewel

Wow, a lot has changed.  You really have made up your mind.  Your strenght always amazes me.  I wish i had the confidence you have.  If i could bottle it, i would.  I do hope that things work out for you.  I do know that whatever happens that you will be fine.  You are tougher than you give yourself credit for.  Jazz is blessed to have a mother like you as an example and whatever she learns in life, one of the best lessons, she can learn is to be strong.  Keep your head up and do what is best for you and Jazz, the rest will fall into place.  Misse you.

Althea

wow your really gonna do it, i was think about it at times but other feelings always get in my way but i know i can learn from you as i have ben all this time, i miss you and hope your day was ok.

fly 

Natalie... I feel you... I'm on the same page. I'm learning to love myself more every day.

I'm probably moving out next week... by the way... I really need to do this.

((((((((((((((Natalie))))))))) Heart Hugs! Thank you for the sweet and loving note! Made me teary with Love! Good tears..the tears of being Blessed by you!

  I'm so grateful to God that you have got something good from my sharing my experiences!  That is such a Blessing!

   I hope that you update soon- hint, hint!

   I love you tons,

       Jewel

Dear Sister Natalie,

  I'm so happy to read that things are improving with you and Q and that you have your wedding ring back on!  Go YOU! Go God!

 God is in the business of restoring marriages!

  Glad that you had some time with your sister and that Jazz had a good party...Funny about her not caring for Chucky!

   Have a Blessed day sis!

   I love you tons,

       Jewel

(((((((((((((((Natalie))))))))))))))  I'm so sorry that it has come to this...KNOW that we WILL be here to support you and love you through!

     I love you deeply and dearly!,

             Jewel

((((((((((((((((((Natalie))))))))))))))))))) I missed you so very much! It's such a Blessing to have you back! 

    Sorry to read that you've had some depression...I will be praying that it stays at bay! 

   I hope that Jazz's party is filled with Blessings!

   I love you tons!,

        Jewel

feeling that way does hurt becaues you think how could i feel this way at a time like this, i guss becaues when the love is gone or may yet in my case almost gone, it doesnt feel good or right, we have had sex becaues i was horny or he was but there is always something missing behind it, like what you would get befor that little felling inside ( which i think is the best feeling in the world) but its not there anymore, maybe it is time to move one.

fly (but the sadness doesnt go away)

you know that comment did make me feel better and you couldnt have said it any better, i think about it sometimes meaning not talking to the othere guy but at times i try and still find myself talking to him on the phone or in e-mails, i really think what you said is the best thing to do, why couldnt you tell me this before lol ( well maybe you did) i dont have a clear mind about what i want and what i wanna do with myself, without a clear mind you cant really do anything.

i'm happy you had a good time and Q had time with baby girl, so your gonna be a devil huh lmao, i think every little kid has had a devil costume lol that was arianna's first costume a devil, i may make them little Bee's lol all black and yellow, i wanted them to match what do you think?.

anyway thank you that really did help me and anytime you wanna talk its cool with me.

fly